January 24
by staceycj
Summary: Follow up to "Christmas with the Moores".
1. Chapter 1

"Sam, what in the world is the matter with you?" Jessica finally asked. Sam had been sitting and starring at his text book for over an hour now, she knew he wasn't focusing on the material, and he wasn't focusing on her when she spoke, he had picked at dinner, and ever since Christmas he had been acting somewhat distant and spending a lot of time just starring at his cell phone.

"What?" he asked and slowly turned to face her.

"You're acting weird."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be." He sat up a little straighter and turned his eyes to hers, trying to look as if he was back at full attention. Jessica sighed and took his hand.

"Come on big guy, couch time for us."

"I have to study Jess…"

"You have starred at the same page for over an hour. You aren't studying as it is."

"But I need…"

"What, the illusion of studying. Sam. Come on. Come sit on the couch with me, rub my feet."

He chuckled and allowed her to drag him to the couch. She threw her feet on his lap and the lotion was soon to follow, it almost clocked him in the face. He scowled at her and she just laughed. "Okay. What is your problem?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"That's an out right lie. Ever since Christmas, you've been just weird. Really, ever since Dean left. Did something happen? You know, when you said good bye. Did you two fight or something?" That was her ultimate fear. She invited Dean because she wanted Sam to have family there, wanted him to be happy like she was happy. Wanted him to have someone there that knew him when he was little and could share stories about him like her brothers did about her at family gatherings. That wasn't what happened. The two of them barely spoke at dinner, and Dean refused to stay, saying he had to be with their dad for the holiday. Sam had made the comment before getting into bed that he was sure that Dean had lied, but for the life of her Jessica couldn't figure out why he would lie about something like that. What had worried her ever since the following morning when she found Sam awake sitting in the bed starring, was that something had happened between the brothers when Sam went to wish him a good night and he wasn't telling her, she was afraid that she had ruined his holiday.

"No. We didn't fight." The way he said it indicated that there was more to this story.

"Then what Sam. If you two didn't fight, then what did he say?"

"Nothing really."

"Sam. What is it? And don't give me that line of bull that it's just family drama." Sam nodded, and looked, really looked at Jessica, saw the concern in her eyes, the worry lines around her eyes, and he sighed.

"I left Dean alone for Christmas."

"He said he spent it with your dad. Why don't you believe him?"

"Because after you went to sleep, I went and looked for my brother. I found him. He was in a wooded area not too far from your house, sleeping in the car."

Jessica was taken aback. "What? Why? Why didn't he stay at my house? Why didn't he go to a motel?"

"No money. He doesn't make a lot. He has a hard time getting paid for helping people." Sam shrugged and then added. "He didn't want to ruin my Christmas."

"Ruin your Christmas? But you're his family."

"But I made it clear when I left that I didn't want anything to do with him or Dad."

"Why?"

"I was mad. I said things I didn't mean, and then, I guess I didn't think Dean thought I meant him, then he didn't call, I was too proud to call, I got more angry, and he got…well…he just disappeared. Like I asked him too. I regret so many things."

"Well, call him. Invite him over for the weekend."

"This weekend is your birthday."

She shrugged. "So, if it's my birthday I should get to make the guest list."

"Jess, no, it's your birthday. You don't need to be immersed in my family drama. We need to take you out, get you drunk, enjoy your 21st birthday. Not sit and emo it out with my brother."

"Sam, you act like your brother being around is such a hardship. Like he's just something to be tucked away and hidden. He is a very nice man. I enjoyed his company at dinner. My mom won't quit asking me about him, and my dad was truly serious about the whole job thing. I'm not sure what your deal is." She got up off of the couch and she went for Sam's cell.

"What are you doing?" he asked and turned.

"I'm inviting people to my birthday dinner."

"Jess, you don't….really you don't have to."

"Hello? Dean? Hi. It's Jessica Moore."


	2. Tarnished Normal

Dean crawled his way to the bathroom, dragging his bad leg behind him, wishing that someone was there with him. His dad told him months ago that he needed to learn how to hunt on his own, because he wasn't gong to be able to be with him every step of the way, that he needed to grow up and cut the umbilical cord and learn how to live like a man. Most of the time he did that, most of the time he dealt with his own injuries and his own monsters and everything alone. There were weeks he didn't speak to people, and there were days that he was so lonely that he would go up to anyone in a bar and just start talking, because he needed to remind himself that he hadn't gone mute in all of the time alone. But right now, it had nothing to do with his desire for company and all about the need for someone to help him get up, help him clean up the vomit so he wouldn't have to smell it for the rest of the time he spent here recuperating.

After an arduous hour cleaning up the vomit in the main room, he managed to get himself on the bed, huffing and puffing, and in such pain that another black out seemed inevitable. But unfortunately a black out didn't occur, no matter how much he wished it would for the sake of blocking out the pain in his leg and ending the pity party that he was throwing himself.

He rubbed at his eyes trying to keep himself from crying tears for himself when his phone beeped reminding him that while he had been stitching himself up that the phone had rang. He reached over and grabbed it, looked at the missed call, didn't recognize the number and then listened to the voice mail.

"Hello? Dean? Hi. It's Jessica Moore. Sam and I were wondering if you could come to a dinner party this Saturday night. My family keeps asking about you, and since it's my birthday they are all coming to me, and I was just hoping that you could join us. Please call me and let me know. My number is…" Dean smiled despite everything. His brother had picked one hell of a girl. She was sweet, loving caring, and everything anyone could ever want in a mate. His brother was lucky. He had done well, and Dean was proud.

He clicked off the phone. No intention of calling the pretty blonde back. He had infringed upon their Christmas dinner, there was no way that he was going to crash her birthday party. It was awful sweet, but it wasn't necessary. If she was trying to ingratiate herself to Sam, this was most certainly not the way to do it. The events at Christmas just solidified for Dean that Sam was better off without him, that Sam had turned out to be a better man. He wasn't about to go and muck anything up for his brother.

No. He'd stay here, watch television, eat crap food, and not interfere with anyone's birthday.

But, he wouldn't mind if someone came here and interfered with his birthday.

***

"It's better that Dean doesn't come." Sam said on Thursday as he was getting ready for school. Jessica had been complaining that Dean hadn't returned her call, and it frustrated Sam that his brother had let his girlfriend down. This was one of the many reasons he didn't want the two of them together.

"Why are you like that?" she finally asked in exasperation.

"Like what?"

"Such a dick."

"What?" he asked and stopped tying his shoe.

"You act like your brother is some whack job and like he can't hold a civilized conversation with people. I enjoyed meeting him."

"Well, he isn't normally that civilized."

"Wow, do you hate him that much?" she asked in breathless amazement.

"I don't hate my brother."

"You most certainly act like it. He's a person Sam Winchester. And I don't appreciate you talking about anyone like they are an animal. 'He isn't normally that civilized.' Wow." She shook her head and opened the door. She looked as if she was going to leave, but then she spun around and faced him. "You know, you said you regretted what you said to him. Remember, just a couple of days ago. You said that you made a mistake the way you treated him. And here you are, being hateful, and not nice. And acting like he's some animal that needs to be hidden in the garage when company comes over. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I'm starting to think that you are the only one who is holding the grudge. I'm gonna call him again, invite him again, because it's my birthday, and I want him here, I enjoyed his company and so did my family."

"Jess…I didn't mean…" He started to backtrack.

"I don't really care right now Sam. Unless he eats little children for breakfast, or is a serial killer, I just don't care."

"Jess…" Sam stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"What?" She demanded impatient with him and the conversation.

"Why do you care if I talk to my brother? What does it really matter if he and I get along or not?"

"Because Sam."

"That's not a reason Jessica."

She sighed and crossed her arms under her breasts. "Sam. Family is important to me. And I know it's important to you. I've seen you look at your phone a hundred times on your birthday or at Christmas. And those two days are the only two times a year that you actually talk about your brother. You never talk about your mom or dad, but you always talk about Dean. Good, bad or indifferent. You mention him at least once on those days. So, I know you miss him. And I just can't understand what in the world would keep two brothers away from each other. What kind of misunderstanding could be so great that the two of you don't talk. I figure maybe, that at my birthday party you can talk to him, really talk to him, clear the air. Because when I marry you, I don't want your side of the church to be empty, and I know you don't either. So suck it up, grow a pair, and talk to the man." She turned on her heel and left a bewildered, stunned, and shamed Sam in her wake.

Jessica didn't know, she could never know, she would never understand. Shame turned to anger, and he grabbed his own bag and stormed out of the apartment, furious that his brother had tarnished his normal. All regrets and wishes for different evaporated with the slam of the door.


	3. Demands

The phone startled Dean awake. His eyes darted around the room, the sudden noise disturbing his sleep making him watchful and alert. He grabbed his phone from the night stand and answered gruffly, "Hello?"

"Dean?" It was Sammy's girl again. This time she sounded determined with a little angry mixed in. He tried to sit up, but the gash in his leg, that went from ankle to hip, protested, and it took every ounce of strength in his body not to whimper as the pain surged through him.

"Yeah?" he managed a little tightly.

"It's Jessica Moore…."

"Sammy's girl."

At the second she wasn't feeling like Sammy's girl, right now she wanted to kick Sammy's ass. "Yeah. Did you get my message?" Dean struggled to get into a position that was more comfortable, and all he managed to do was bite the inside of his cheek to keep from screaming. The blood pooled in his mouth, and he realized that Jessica was expecting an answer, and he forced himself to swallow and then reply, "Yeah. I got it. I've just been a little busy." He said tightly, and looked down at his leg, it was swollen, bruised, and mildly infected. Nothing that the antibiotics he scored at the last clinic he visited wouldn't cure. That and some serious bed rest.

"Well, can you come?"

"Jessica…."

"I'm not good at taking no for an answer."

"So I've noticed." She grinned at his snark.

"Then you'll come?"

"Jessica, sweetheart, you don't know me. This is your birthday party, with your family, my brother doesn't want me there."

"He wants you there."

"I can tell when someone is lying, and you, my dear, most certainly are." He moved and the pain that ran up his leg was sharp and unyielding. He clutched the phone tightly and held it close to his chest and took a deep cleansing breath and tried to focus on something other than the pain coursing through his body.

"Dean!" He heard when the pain stopped roaring through his ears.

"Sorry. Dropped the phone." He said and hoped it didn't sound breathless. "What did you say?"

"Are you okay?" she asked suspiciously.

"I'm fine."

"The dinner is Saturday night. You could come here and meet us at the apartment."

"It's your birthday Jessica." He said again trying to make excuses, Sam would see his injury no matter how hard he tried to conceal it from his little brother. Sam like Dean, could spot the others lies no matter how well they were weaved.

"And that's why I shouldn't come."

"You Winchesters are the most frustrating men I've ever met." She said in exasperation almost to herself. Her voice raised and she commanded, "Look, you are coming, no more of this pussy footing around. I want you here. We are leaving for dinner at 7 and I want you at our door by 6. everyone has been instructed that I don't want gifts, all I want is a drink from each person. I want to get drunk. That's the plan. I want you and Sam to talk. That is what I want for my birthday. So get your cute ass here." She hung up the phone and Dean looked at the small piece of plastic in his hand.

"Who the hell does she think she is?" he asked and put the phone down on the table and wiped the sweat off of his brow. He rested his head against the pillow and sighed. His birthday was Saturday. Wow, 25, it came fast. If he didn't go, he would spend the day in this motel room, alone, probably with a bottle of Jack.

Sam had accused him, before leaving for Stanford, of being a good little soldier. He had received an order, maybe he should obey this one as well.

***

"Your brother is coming." She said as she walked into their apartment. Sam had returned an hour ago, and had been waiting up for her. He nodded, he figured he would convince his brother to come. She had a way with Winchester men. And he'd had time to cool off and had decided that he wanted his brother to come. He had screwed up at Christmas and wanted to try to make something right again. Before he could say anything. She announced. "And you are sleeping on the couch." And slammed the door to their bedroom. He sighed and starred at the door wishing this weekend over with already.


	4. birthday

Jessica didn't spend the day by the door waiting on people to show up for her party. She was out and about, picking up last minute things, and picking up her parents, getting them settled in a hotel room close to their apartment, and then with what little time was left she spent in the bathroom getting herself ready for dinner that evening.

"You heard from your brother?" she asked as she put an earring into her ear.

"Jess, he isn't going to come."

"I told him he was going to come."

"Just because you told someone to come doesn't mean that they will Jess." He admonished and kissed the top of her head.

"You said once that your brother always follows orders like a good little soldier. So, I gave him an order. He'll come if what you say about him is true." She turned to face him and gave him her pursed lip look which indicated that she was challenging him. The clock was getting ready to turn six, and Sam was about to be proved wrong when there was a knock on the door. Jessica ran to answer it. Dean was standing there. Looking a little pale and green around the gills.

Sam's brother senses were alert and activated the moment he saw Dean's eyes. They were tired and pain filled.

"Dean! I'm so glad you're here." He gave a tight lipped smile.

"You gave me an order. And how can I refuse an order from a beautiful woman, no matter how taken she is." He looked up at his brother, noted that he was being scanned for injuries and possible threats, and gave him the signal stating that he was all right. Dean knew that Sam didn't believe him for a second but he was going to try his best and not let Jessica know that his leg hurt so much that he almost passed out getting out of the car and it took him twenty minutes to walk up the stairs to their apartment.

Jessica turned and gave Sam a smug look. "I told you he would come." Sam nodded.

"You were right." He turned his gaze back up to Dean's eyes. "Dean."

"Sam. Thanks for the invitation."

"Jessica was insistent." Jessica smacked Sam in the chest.

"That is not nice. You two need to work out your issues as it is and you don't need to create more in the mean time." She eyed both brothers and Dean had a brief glimpse into what kind of mother Jessica would one day make for his nephews and nieces. He was pleased that they would be raised by the best.

"Jessica was insistent." Dean said. Sam nodded. They had fallen into code. Sam was getting the information needed regarding his injury.

Jessica sensed there was a subtext here that she wasn't privy too and she decided at the second that she wouldn't pursue it.

"I'm gonna go get my coat. You two play nice." Sam smiled and she headed into the bedroom.

"Your leg?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"Black dog."

"Stitches?"

"Over a hundred."

"Dad?"

"Me."

"You?"

"Alone."

"Where?"

"Hunt."

"Call?"

"Out of range."

"Me?" Dean scoffed. Sam bristled. He was about to say something probably not so nice when Jessica came back out of the bedroom.

"Well, by the looks of it, you both survived the two minutes alone." She eyed both of them. The tension level was about three levels higher than when she left. Both brothers were eyeing each other and she got into the middle of them and turned to Sam and leaned on his chest. It forced Sam to relax and he put his arm around her, and finally pulled his eyes away from his brother's. "I'm ready guys. Let's get me plastered!" she laughed. The tension was only slightly reduced by her laughter. Sam smiled and kissed the top of her head and looked at his brother. Dean's eyes were closed off from his emotions, they were blank. Sam could count on one hand the number of times that his brother's eyes had been blank to him. As a matter of fact he only needed one finger. It was the day he fought with his father, the day that he stormed off to California without saying so much as a good-bye to his brother. That look was loaded and it was like a gun aimed at Sam, aimed for the heart and he didn't know how to diffuse it before it went off and it scared him.

***

The evening went pretty much without a hitch. Sam noted that Dean didn't' eat much and that he pretended to nurse a beer, and only winced a couple of times as he sat and listened to the family chatter, and watched everyone enjoy getting the baby girl of the family drunk for the first time. While watching his brother Sam found himself wondering for the first time if Dean craved this kind of life, if he wanted a slice of normal, a birthday party….Sam's eyes went wide and he put the beer down. Today was Dean's birthday. Today his brother turned 25.

Sam swallowed hard. He had forgotten. Been so wrapped up in his own life, in his life with Jessica, getting her party ready, wrapped up in being angry with Dean, that he forgot that his brother was a year older today as well. No wonder he came. _I wouldn't want to spend my birthday alone, in a crap motel room, with a gash in my leg and in pain. I'd want to spend it with family, even if it wasn't my own, or even if it was the one person I had left in my family who didn't like me. _

Dean looked down at his watch. "Thank you guys so much for having me." He said loud enough for everyone to hear. "I need to go. But thanks again for letting me crash another of your family gatherings."

"Dean stay!" Jessica's mother insisted. "What's the hurry?"

"I just have to get back to Colorado for work tomorrow."

"Son, that's a long drive. You aren't going to make it." Her dad said.

"I work later in the day. I can make it if I drive all night."

"You wouldn't have this problem if you came to work for me son." Dean forced a smile.

"Thank you sir, but you really don't want me working for you."

"Dean stay." Sam said softly but firmly. "Stay." He repeated. Dean turned and gave a curious expression. Sam's eyes were sincere and they made Dean sit back down.

"Okay, Sammy I'll stay."

"You'll call in tomorrow?" Sam asked facilitating Dean's cover.

"Yeah. I'll do that for you Sammy. I will."


	5. Dean's Life

It took all of Jessica's family to get the very drunk young woman back to the apartment, and with smiles and laughter they left her in the capable hands of her boyfriend. The door to the apartment shut and Sam put his beautiful girl to bed, kissed her, tucked the covers up high and closed the bedroom door on the way out.

Dean was standing in front of a book case looking at the plethora of pictures that were on the shelves. Sam had never taken a lot of pictures before Stanford. But Jessica kept a camera with her pretty much constantly and there were pictures of him and friends, with her, of him studying. Dean stood there and held one. Just starring down at it. He put it back when he heard Sam walk into the room.

"I didn't take anything." He said weakly and sat down on the couch.

"I know you didn't." Sam said shaking his head. Dean must think that he changed a lot while at Stanford to think that Sam would accuse Dean of stealing from his home.

"Why did you ask me to stay?" Sam had forgotten how blunt his brother could be.

"I wanted to check your leg."

"It's fine."

"That's bull shit and you know it."

"Sam, it doesn't matter."

"It does matter."

"You wouldn't have even known about this if Jessica didn't call me."

"But she did."

"Sam. I've gotten hurt on hunts lots of times. This time is no different."

"You stitched yourself up Dean!" he yelled.

"So friggin what? I do it a lot."

"Dad…"

"Dad has been AWOL for months Sam. Months. He calls a couple of times a week, sends me on a hunt, and the disappears again. I don't know where he is."

"You could have called him…"

"Oh yeah, 'Dad, I'm in Wyoming, I have a gash in my leg from ankle to hip, I need you to come help me stitch it up. Can I wait…sure….the blood is only slightly gushing….I'll call you when I'm just about to pass out.' Yeah, Sam that's gonna work."

"Bobby…"

"Kicked dad out with a loaded shot gun and told us never to come back. So I haven't." Sam was standing there appalled.

"Who…"

"No one Sammy. It's just me and the car. And that's fine. Just don't pretend to care when you see me. Because we both know you don't, and that's okay. If I had this life." He indicated the space around him. "If I had that girl….I'd leave me behind too. I would. But I just don't want the fake sympathy or concern. Don't treat me like that."

"Dean….that's not true."

"It isn't? Well then enlighten me to the real truth then."

"I worry about you."

"You could call me."

"But then I'd want to come back. I can't come back."

"Who says?"

"Dad."

"Dad's hardly with me."

"But then I'd want to stay because of you, and I can't. I want this life Dean. I want this life with this apartment, this girl, this responsibility. I don't want my life to be about death."

"And you don't' want me in your life."

"I didn't say that."

"No. But my life is all about death. It is just the way things are. So, I'll just go." He stood up slowly and held in a wince and headed for the door.

"Don't. Dean. No. Please."

"I don't want to hold you back Sam. I've always wanted better for you, and this is better." Dean said with a small shrug. "So, I'm going to leave. I promise I won't bother you or Jessica again. I'll change my number tonight. That way she can't find me."

"Dean…"

"I get it Sammy. I get it."

"Dean." Dean turned with his hand on the door knob.

"What?"

"Happy Birthday." Dean bit the insides of his cheeks to keep from crying.

"Thanks Sammy." And he turned, and left, with a soft click behind him.


	6. Normal Worth The Cost

Sam watched him leave and he stood his ground. He was going to stay there, going to let his brother leave. Dean obviously wanted it this way. He stayed there for another minute just standing and watching the door. "This is bull shit." Sam said to himself and grabbed his coat and opened the door, he didn't have to go far. Dean was standing at the stair well, the elevator in the building wasn't working, and he was looking down. Just as he started to grab the railing Sam called.

"Come on. Dean. You're hurt. This is stupid."

"Sam."

"I listened to you at Christmas, and I shouldn't have. I got mad, I got hurt, and I had no business allowing you to stay in that car alone. I was wrong. And I'm not making that mistake twice. Now, you either move of your own accord, or I move you, and we both know we can so there is no use in pretending." Dean looked up at his brother and gave him angry eyes, and for the first time in his life, the look didn't make Sam back down, in fact it made him more determined than ever. He grabbed his brother's shoulders and maneuvered him back to the apartment, they got inside, Sam threw his coat on the nearest chair and pushed Dean towards the couch.

"Take your pants off and lay down."

"Why Sammy, college has changed you." Dean said trying to pull his normal snark out of hiding. He was feeling very vulnerable and scared. His leg was throbbing, and he didn't really want Sam to see it. He didn't want him to be able to see the less than perfect stitches that were barely holding his leg together. "I want to see your leg." Sam said with a scowl.

Dean began the arduous process of peeling the pants off of his legs and Sam disappeared and returned with first aid supplies and his eyes widened when he saw the extent of damage done to Dean's leg.

"A black dog?" he asked

"A particularly determined one." Dean said with a grimace. Sam sat down on the coffee table, put the kit next to him and turned to his brother's leg.

"God Dean." He whispered in amazement and touched the skin around the wound Dean's eyes tightened with pain. "You were by yourself when this happened."

"No big deal." Dean said through gritted teeth.

"Dean." Sam closed his mouth, any statement he could possibly make would be inadequate to describe the level of damage done to his brother. Anger at their father flowed freely through his veins. Why was Dean left on his own to deal with this stuff? Dean was one of the best hunters Sam knew, but that didn't mean that he needed to do this on his own.

"How did you make it back to the car?" Sam asked gently as he took peroxide out of the kit and doused a gauze pad with its contents.

"How do you think Sammy?"

"I honestly don't know. Cold." Sam put the pad against the poorly stitched wound and it immediately fizzed. "Dean, this looks like it might need re-stitched." Dean simply grimaced.

"It's fine Sammy."

"It's puckered in a couple of places and it looks like some of your stitches have been pulled. You shouldn't have moved so much so soon."

"Your girlfriend doesn't exactly give you much choice." Sam nodded.

"I'll be right back. Gonna go to the Impala and get the suture kit. It's where it always was right?" Dean nodded. Sam dug in Dean's jacket and retrieved the keys, went down the stairs and got into the trunk and got the kit. He hesitated for a moment by the passenger's side door and looked inside. Blood covered the side of the seat. Dean had bled rather profusely while in the car, and the fact that his brother hadn't cleaned the car yet was a testament as to just how injured Dean really was.

The images of his brother passing out at the wheel, dying, and no one ever noticing made his heart pound. He was one of those people who had left Dean to die alone. What kind of brother, person, did that? He looked up at the window that belonged to him and Jessica. Maybe normal wasn't worth the cost.


	7. Right

He shut the door quietly behind him when he entered the apartment just in case Dean had fallen asleep in the time it took him to get the suture kit, he had not. In fact he looked like he was in pain, it was the first time since he arrived that he wasn't hiding his pain, and from the looks of it, it was pretty damn severe.

"Dean?" His brother's face sobered immediately. It was a skill that Dean had always had, just never used for his benefit before.

"You find it Sammy?"

"Found it. Things really haven't changed much."

"Not really space for change." Sam sat down next to his brother's leg.

"I'm going to need to take out all of the stitches and redo."

"You don't have to do that Sammy." He said as he started to get up. Sam put a hand to his chest and stopped his brother from sitting up.

"I'm going to do this."

"Sam…"

"Dean."

"It's my birthday."

"And that's why they are going to be nice small stitches, instead of the ones that will scar." He said and began cutting the stitches out of his brother's leg.

"Gonna scar any way Sammy. What's one more?"

Sam didn't respond. His brother was right. It was just simply one more scar to add to his ever growing collection. But that was the life. That was hunting, and apparently it was the life his brother wanted.

Sam handed Dean a bottle of strong stuff, and then began suturing his leg back up. It didn't take long for the pain and the booze to make Dean chatty.

"I wished this year for a good birthday." He said and took a swig. "Even had a dream the other day about what a good birthday would be. Cake, people, music, food." He slurred. "All of those things. Wondered what that might be like. Best birthday was the one before you left Sammy." Dean continued to slur thickly.

"All we did was watch crap movies."

"Yup. But you skipped school that day to spend it with me. That was the awesome part. School's so important to you….and you skipped it for me. You gave your girl a good one tonight. She was happy. She's a great girl. You treat her right Sammy. You treat her right." Dean mumbled a little before he finally passed out.

"I treat her right Dean." He said as he finished the last stitch. "You taught me to treat those I love right. I just haven't always listened."


	8. Discovery

Jessica came stumbling out of the bedroom in the morning and found Sam hunched down in the chair beside the couch, and she saw feet sticking over the end of the couch. Squinting, she looked down and found Dean sound asleep. There was a first aid kit on the table, and she noted that Dean didn't have his jeans on and his leg was bandaged from ankle to hip. She sobered up immediately.

She didn't know what to do. Dean had been sliced open by something, and by the looks of it Sam had taken care of it in the middle of the night. What had she missed while being unconscious?

She quietly tapped on Sam's shoulder and woke him. "Sam?" Sam's eyes snapped open and he saw his beloved starring worriedly at him.

"You okay Jess?"

"I'm fine Sam. What happened to Dean?" she asked and glanced worriedly over her shoulder at the smaller of the two Winchesters.

"Just a little mishap." Sam hedged.

"Just a little mishap?" she asked and looked at the elder man again. "He is bandaged from ankle to hip. That's a little bit more than a mishap Sam."

"I cut myself pretty good the other day." Dean said groggily as he sat up. Jessica noted that he was being cautious of his leg. "Just wasn't paying attention." Jessica's eyes narrowed.

"Come on. I don't believe that." She pointed at his leg. "Something like that only happens when someone takes a knife and drags it down your leg. There is no way in the world you could do that just on a random day." She paused and neither brother responded. "Were you hiding that from us last night?"

Dean was at a complete and total loss. He had no idea how to explain himself. He didn't have a ready lie. Looking at Sam told him that Sam didn't have a clue either.

"Were you?" she asked again more annoyed than the last time.

"Yes. I guess I was." Dean said slowly.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I thought I had it under control."

"Did he Sam?" she demanded swiveling over towards her boyfriend.

"I took care of it Jess." Sam said bewildered.

"With what medical training?"

"We were boy scouts we know how to handle that kind of thing." Dean supplied hoping that his lie didn't tread on another falsehood or truth that Sam had revealed.

"How deep is it?" she asked and moved towards him.

"What does it matter? It's good. Don't worry about it Jessica." Dean said as he reached for his pants.

"I'm pre-med. I have a clue. Let me look." Before Dean could get away from her she had one of the bandages pulled away and she gasped. Dean closed his eyes and wished this away, wished that he would have left when he wanted to, wished that he just hadn't ruined everything for his brother. It didn't matter how much boy scout training anyone had, it still didn't explain for Sam's precise small stitches, nor did it account for the jagged cut that ran from ankle to thigh, plus all of the other smaller, significantly more shallow scratches came from. He chastised himself for his selfishness, he shouldn't have come in the first place. Screw his birthday, screw his loneliness, he should have just stayed at the motel, should have left Sam's perfect normal life intact.

"These stitches aren't something they teach in the boy scouts." She said and looked to Sam. "This is something they teach in med school, or maybe in the military, but this most certainly isn't boy scout training.

"I got the stitches back home." He said trying to cover.

"Sam said he took care of it."

"It was a little infected. Sam cleaned it up for me."

"There is no sign of infection here."

"I heal fast?"

"What is going on?"

"Nothing you want to know about." Dean said and started to get up. She put a hand on his chest effectively stopping his forward movement.

"You aren't going anywhere. And you don't get to decide what I do and what I don't want to know about."

"Jessica."

"Don't Jessica me Sam." She crossed her arms and sat down in the chair facing both brothers. "Really. I want to know what in the hell is going on with you two. I want to know right now."

Sam couldn't see a way out of it. And all Dean could do was sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose. So, Sam sighed and began, "Well, Jess. We didn't grow up like normal kids." Sam told her the story of his mother's death, their militaristic upbringing, and he even explained that most of the time his only real guidance in life came from Dean. He explained ghosts, goblins, demons, and legends, and how most of them were real. Dean threw in that Bigfoot wasn't, but pretty much everything else was. And Sam explained that Dean helped people by continuing to hunt. He even explained why he got out of the life, and how hard it was to be away from Dean, but it was for the best, because in reality, if they stayed in contact, Sam would end up in the car with him, end up doing something he hates because he would want to protect his brother, want to be at his back, want to prevent things from happening, like the black dog grabbing a hold of his brother's leg and slicing him open like a tender cut of beef. He explained their father's obsession and threw in how Dean followed him like a good soldier, which landed the brothers in the Winchester version of a cat fight.

"Enough." Jessica demanded. Both stopped arguing and turned to face the woman in the room. Dean couldn't meet her eyes and Sam blushed. "Let me get this straight. You mom was killed by something evil, and your father has been hunting it ever since, and you both were trained to do it, and Sam you got out and Dean didn't and something God awful got his leg and used it as a scratching post?" Sam nodded.

"I'm expected to believe that?"

"It's the honest truth." Dean said. Jessica shook her head.

"I can't do this right now." She said and got up and went into the bedroom and closed it softly behind her.


	9. Conversations With Dean

The headache the alcohol produced was nothing compared to the headache that Sam and his brother had managed to bestow upon her.

Jessica realized that if she was going to believe some of the story she was going to have to believe all of the story. And some of it she truly did believe without hesitation. Sam said that his brother had raised him and taught him how to be a man. Dean had blushed and turned away from his brother, wasn't able to look at him while he gave him the compliment of the century. He fidgeted and looked uncomfortable as Sam explained their mother's death. It obviously bothered him a lot more than he let on.

But if she believed that their mother died on the ceiling of Sam's nursery, then she had to believe the rest; ghost and other nasties were real. How could she believe that? How could she not believe that?

***

Sam ran a hand through his hair and stood up and began pacing. "I wonder how long it will take her to pack her stuff up." He mumbled.

"You really think she'll leave you?" Dean asked as he stood gingerly and began to put his jeans on.

"Oh come on! Wouldn't you?"

"But she loves you—"

"Not any more. I wouldn't. God, why…why did you have to come Dean?"

"I shouldn't have." He said.

"Damn right you shouldn't have." Sam raged. "I had my life together. I had Jessica. Then you had to do what you always do. Barge in like a bull in a China shop and ruin everything!"

"Sam I didn't…"

"Whatever you meant to do doesn't matter. I'm going to lose the girl I love because of you and your selfishness."

"Hey!" Dean's said starting to yell. "I didn't invite myself to this shindig. Your girlfriend invited me. No, she pretty much ordered me to come."

"Oh, and that's right. You always follow orders like a good little soldier."

"Sam!"

"I thought that she ordered me here because you wanted me here!"

"Why in the hell would I want you here?!"

"Because it was my birthday! All right! Because I thought since it was my birthday that you wanted to see me. And after last night…I just thought….thought….well, we all know what happens when I think. I'm just too freaking stupid…" he mumbled and started to gather his things.

"Oh that's how you are. Going to make a mess and just leave me to clean it up."

"Might as well. You opinion can't get any lower of me."

"Stop it!" Jessica demanded from the door way. Both men startled and turned to her. "Sam. Go. Get out for a while. Go take a walk. I want to talk to your brother alone."

"Jess…"

"Go Sam. I just need some time." Sam glared at his brother, grabbed his coat and left with the door slam echoing throughout the apartment.

"Look Jessica…"

"No. I want to talk."

"Okay." Dean said with a sigh. She sat down on the couch and indicated that he do the same.

"Yesterday was your birthday too?" she asked. The question threw Dean off. He expected her to go off the handle, yell at him for revealing a truth about Sam that she wasn't ready or able to deal with.

"Yeah."

"And that's why you came?"

"Yeah. I just…" he blushed and avoided her eyes. "I don't do chick flick moments." He said suddenly.

"You just wanted to have people around."

"Yeah." He admitted after a beat.

"You and Sam haven't spoken since Christmas, and then before that since he left for school?"

"That's right."

"All because of your father?"

"Pretty much. He told Sam if he walked out that door, he couldn't come back. So Sam left."

"And that included you?"

"Yeah. Sam pretty much sees me and Dad as a package deal."

"And you raised him?"

"I tried. Dad wasn't home much."

"You turned….?"

"25."

"You are only four years older than Sam?"

"Yeah."

"And you did most of the raising?"

"Yeah."

"Who raised you?" Dean licked his lips and looked down. "Oh. You raised you." Jessica said in realization.

Dean shrugged. He was starting to get angry. He didn't like being scrutinized, didn't like be analyzed like a lab rat. "What does this have to do with anything Jessica? Are you going to ditch my brother because he used to hunt evil? Or are you going to be woman enough to stay?" He said hoping his brashness would keep her at bay, keep her from asking any more personal questions.

Jessica wasn't fazed or deterred. "I just need to know what to believe. Because if I can believe that you raised the man I love, then I can believe that you hunt evil. Because I don't think you are a liar…"

Dean snorted. "Oh lady I'm a liar."

"Maybe about other things. But you aren't a liar when it comes to your brother." Dean licked his lips again. This girl had made him face more hard truths in ten minutes than he had in the last four years.

"Your dad?"

"I don't know what he's doing right now. I think he's on a hunt in Georgia."

"And you are alone?"

"I'm fine."

"But you don't have anyone with you?"

"I'm fine." He said a little more firmly.

"Who patched up your leg?"

"Me. Okay? I'm fine. What does this have to do with anything? Are you going to leave Sam or not?"

"Everything is all about Sam. What about you Dean Winchester?"

"It doesn't matter what happens to me as long as Sam is safe and happy. Are you going to continue to make my brother happy or not?!" he demanded standing quickly and pain shooting up through his leg and forcing him to sit back down.

She realized that she needed to probe more subtly if she were to get any information out of Dean. "This whole hunting evil stuff…"

"It's true. I've hunted werewolves, ghosts, ghouls and things your worst nightmares won't even go near. Sam has too. But it's been me and Dad who pushed him to do it."

"How can I prove this?"

"You can't. And I don't want you ever involved in the stuff we've seen. It would bring attention to you and they would come after you too."

"So, now, what? You're going to protect me too?" she asked and pushed curls out of her face.

"I protect everyone I can."

"But you?"

"It's not important Jessica. Are you going to stay with my brother or not?"

"Single minded much?"

"Answer the question!"

"He lied to me."

"He didn't have a choice."

"But he lied."

"He did it to protect you."

"If he lies about most of his life Dean, how can I trust him?"

"Trust that he's a good man."

"But he kills people."

"Not people. Things. Supernatural things."

"But how can I trust that he won't turn his training on me?"

"You can trust that I raised him right."

"But I don't know you very well."

"Look into my eyes. What kind of man do you think I am?" Jessica looked into his green eyes and realized for the first time since she had met Dean, that his eyes were unguarded and telling the story of his personality, his true personality. At first she was taken aback and didn't know how to deal with this sudden burst of honesty. Then she saw it. She saw what kind of man Dean Winchester truly was. She swallowed.

"Intense. Determined. Intelligent. Caring. Protective."

"Do you think you can trust that my little brother is a good man?"

"I know you think he is a good man."

"Please, talk to him. Don't let this come between you. He's a good kid. And he deserves this slice of normal. He deserves to have his big overbearing older brother out of the picture, and to stop ruining his happiness. Look Jessica. Stay with him. Love him. You won't ever see me again. And I'll keep the monsters at bay so Sam doesn't have to." He stood and winced as he put pressure on his leg.

"Don't go."

"I should."

"Please. Stay. I need to talk to Sam."

"I should go."

"Dean Winchester. I want you to stay." Dean looked to the heavens and sighed.


	10. Reasons

"Stay Dean." Dean turned and found his little brother standing in the doorway. Neither had heard him enter.

"I'm going to go Sam. I didn't mean to…"

"Just. Stay." Sam said with exasperation. "Your leg is a mess. You shouldn't spend the next twelve hours in a car. That won't be good for the area around your knee. Not too sure if you did damage to more than the skin there. You don't have a lot of meat there."

"I'm fine."

"Shut up Dean. Sit down. Shut up."

"Don't order me around Sam."

"You'll do whatever in the hell I want you to do. Driver picks the music remember? Well I'm the driver here. So I'm picking the music. And I suggest you sit your ass down." Dean, taken aback, did as instructed.

"Jess." Sam started.

"Your behavior has been unacceptable Sam, and I don't appreciate being lied to."

"I couldn't' just say, 'hey I'm Sam, I come from a family of ghost hunters, wanna go on a date?' Really Jessica, you would have thought that I was insane."

"We've been dating almost three years now Sam. When did you plan on telling me?"

Sam looked down, he didn't want to answer this question honestly. He wet his lips and then looked her dead in the face. "When he left I made him promise never to tell anyone." Dean said and took his place next to his brother, defending Sam even though he had been awful to him mere hours ago. Sam looked over to his brother, amazed.

"Why?" Jessica asked in dismay.

"Because, we do what we do and we stay quiet about it. It keeps us safe and it keeps those we are close to safe. The bad things can't come and get what they don't know exists." Jessica wrinkled her brows.

"Then…do you have a girlfriend that doesn't know about this stuff?"

"No. I don't do normal."

"You don't do normal?" she asked, confusion and amazement etched into her features. "What in the hell does that mean?"

"It means I live the life, I hunt, I kill, I try and protect people. I don't have time to do this.." he indicated the apartment around him. "I can't risk getting someone else hurt…or dead. I can't do it!" Dean exploded. "I've lost everyone I've ever loved. I can't…just can't."

Jessica looked at Sam and then back and Dean and the pieces started to click into place. The anger, the love, the hate, the loyalty, the hurt, the worry, the bitterness. She was beginning to understand now.

She took a seat on the chair opposite Dean, ran her hands down the length of her face, clasped them and put them on her knees. "So, Sam gave up 'the life'." She said using her fingers as quote markers. "So he could have this life. So he could have normal."

"Yes." Dean said and Sam nodded.

"But, you got stuck with the life, you got stuck following your dad's orders."

"I…" Dean didn't have a chance to finish, Jess stopped him.

"And you're jealous, because he got to have a life, any kind of life that wasn't constantly consumed with evil."

"He deserves it."

"I've never understood why you are like this! You constantly do that. You act like a martyr."

"I have to protect you."

"I live here, I'm fine, I don't need your protection Dean! I'm not a child!"

"The thing that killed mom, what if one of these days it came after you, or Jessica? Huh? What then? It's not like we are off that thing's radar. They will always be after us, or the ones we love. We have to stick close."

"I don't want to worry about that stuff for the rest of my life Dean!"

"You have to! It's not right to know about it and then do nothing! There are other people out there…"

"Who cares! There are people right here! There are people right here, there is a family right here, that needs to be protected and cared for. And don't give me that bull crap sticking together speech. Dad isn't with you. He isn't watching your back. He isn't sticking close to you, so what does it matter?! Obviously dad isn't worried! Why should we!?"

"There are people out there Sam!"

"People we don't know…we can't save everyone Dean. We can't!"

"But we can save some…"

"This is nothing but revenge. REVENGE Dean. Mom is long gone. You can't possibly remember her, why are you so hell bent on this crusade?!" Jessica knew that Sam had gone over that invisible line. She felt it and watched Dean's face fall.

"Sam. You have a remarkable knack for sticking your foot in your mouth." She said and looked at Dean. "He didn't mean that."

"Yeah, he did. And I'll have him know, that it isn't revenge. It's all about me not wanting another four year old to have to raise his little brother, to have to watch other kids get things that he can't even dream about, about missing a mom so badly that you can't stand it. If it stops one kid from being terrified at night, then it is worth it. That's why I do what I do, and sacrifice everything for it." Dean swallowed and looked away and said. "Even if that means I lose my brother and his respect."


	11. Cargo

Sam stood there amazed, ashamed, and bewildered. Jessica hit him with a pillow before he knew what happened and he turned.

"I don't even know what to say to you." She said with a sigh and headed for the bedroom then turned around. "Yes, I do. Family is important Sam. Just because we are together and make our own little nuclear family, doesn't mean you forget the ones you were raised with, or the ones who loved and nurtured you your entire life. It means that there are simply more people out there for you to love. And you have a brother that sacrificed his whole world for you. I'd be a little bit more grateful and a little less angry if I were you. His life is dangerous…"

"I know that Jessica. I've lived his life."

"Then you of all people should know how precious each moment is. I could be hit by a bus tomorrow, and you won't have a thing to regret. You'll have told me you loved me and know that I love you. But if you get word that Dean is dead. How full of regret are you going to be? Especially if you leave it as it is. Think about it Sam. Just think about it."

***

Dean just finished a hunt, was sitting in a no name bar partaking in a celebratory drink. It was a miracle that he survived this one, and survived it intact. But saving those children, and giving them back to their parents, seeing the looks on their mom's faces as they hugged the kids close and whispered and wailed 'I love you' to their children had been worth the bumps and bruises to his body. He never stayed long enough for them to say thank you. He simply ruffled each kid's hair and moved on. No sense in getting attached, no sense in getting to know these people, he was simply thrilled that they were okay and that their families wouldn't have to suffer the loss of a child. No one should have to do that.

Sam walked into the bar, and saw his brother's profile. He hadn't been hard to find, newspapers were reporting that a mysterious man saved five of the small town's children and hadn't even stayed for a thank you. The children claimed that the man in the big black car saved them from a monster. The officials were claiming that the monster must be the serial kidnapper who had taken a break ten years ago. They decided that he was starting back up and that all parents should keep close tabs on their children until the officials were certain that they had apprehended the individual.

Sam knew better, the 'serial kidnapper' wouldn't ever be heard from again. Odds were it had been salted and burned. The 'kidnapper' would never bother that town again, and all evidence pointed to his brother.

Sam pushed himself towards his brother. It had been three months since he had last seen Dean, and said those awful things. He knew that he needed to go to his brother, reconnect, but he was scared of rejection. Jessica reassured him that Dean loved him and would accept his apology as long as it was sincere. He pushed himself further.

"Sammy?" Dean said when Sam was still feet from his brother. Dean's senses were still super acute from the hunt. Of course he was going to sense his brother, he probably knew the moment Sam had entered the bar. Some things never changed.

Sam sat in the bar stool next to his brother and ordered a beer. "What are you doing here Sammy?"

"I heard about the kids."

"The 'serial kidnapper'?"

"No. The mysterious stranger in the big black car." The corners of Dean's mouth turned up slightly and he took another draught of his beer.

"Good thing that mysterious stranger salted and burned the 'serial kidnapper'."

"Yeah. Good thing." Sam said as he took the beer proffered from the bar tender and took a drink of his own beer.

"What are you here for Sammy? It's the middle of Idaho. It's a little far from school."

"Jessica and I are on our way to South Dakota to spend some time with Bobby on our summer break."

"Is it that time again?"

"Yeah." He said casually and took another sip.

"I was thinking of heading out to Bobby's to make some legit money for a couple of weeks."

"Huh." Sam said noncommittally.

"Your girl is going?"

"Yeah. She called Bobby not too long ago asking about a protection charm she found online."

"She has Bobby's number?"

"She got it out of my phone."

"Ahhh. You really should lock that thing."

"I probably should."

"Would definitely keep her out of things."

"I don't know if I want her to stay out of things."

"Why?"

"Because she is pretty smart."

"Yeah. She is."

"She's pretty good at putting me in my place too."

"Is she now?"

"Yeah. She knows not only how to make humble pie, but how to force me to eat it."

"Had to eat a lot of it lately college boy?"

"Yeah. I have." Sam said and twisted the beer in his hands.

"That sucks little brother."

"Well, stop being a dick and you won't have to eat so much of it." Dean smirked.

"Funny, that's what she says."

"Like I said, smart girl."

"See you at Bobby's?"

Dean nodded casually. "Where is Jessica?"

"In the motel down the road." Dean turned to Sam sharply.

"What do you mean in the motel down the street? Alone? I don't think she needs to be there. That place is for….trash."

"But you are staying there." Sam said taking a drink of the beer to keep from smiling.

"It isn't a place for a girl like Jessica."

"You care about her?" Sam asked softly trying to keep the smile off of his face.

"Yeah. She's my sister. How dare you leave her someplace like that?" Dean got up and put money on the bar and headed towards the door, Sam did the same and followed Dean.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to go get her the hell out of there. What do you think you are doing leaving a classy girl like Jessica there by herself? Really Sam." Dean pushed the doors open and started for his car when he saw Jessica standing by the Impala. He stopped dead in his tracks and Sam just about ran into his back.

"Do I get to ride in this?" she asked casually. Smile spreading, and hair blowing in the light wind.

"I thought you were back at the motel."

"No. I just wanted to surprise you."

"Well I'm relieved more than surprised."

"Awww. Dean you care." She laughed and came across the distance and gave him a hug. She felt his awkwardness and laughed. "Really. I just wanted to congratulate you on saving the kids. We heard."

"I didn't do it. A 'mysterious stranger in a big black car' did." He said. She shook her head.

"We're going to Bobby's for summer break, and we were hoping that you would be there too. I want to get an opportunity to get to know you and your family."

"Bobby's isn't anything like your parent's house." Dean said by way of warning. He didn't want her to be disappointed with Bobby or his house. Bobby's was the closest thing he knew to a stable home, and it meant a lot to him.

"I've heard. But I want to get to know you guys on your terms and your turf."

"Suit yourself."

"Catch a ride with you?" she asked.

Dean nodded. He was trying desperately to keep his excitement and happiness at bay. "Get your stuff I'll throw it in the trunk."

"It's already there." Sam said. "I picked the lock." Dean blanched and Sam laughed. He held up a key.

"I have a spare key. Don't worry I wouldn't hurt your baby."

"Better not, or I'd have to kill you Sam." Dean shook his head as Sam laughed and unlocked the back passenger's door, Sam held the door for Jessica, and closed it. Dean was just about to go to his side of the car when Sam grabbed his arm. Dean looked up at his brother questioningly.

"I'm sorry for everything I've said Dean. I was wrong."

"Damn right you were wrong." Dean said. "But it's all good."

"We're okay?"

"Yeah. We're okay." Dean went to his side of the car, and the brother got into the old Impala and the doors slammed in sync and Dean pulled them out of the parking lot and off towards South Dakota. The most precious cargo in the world inside his car.


End file.
